If happiness is what you seek, you shall never find it . For happiness comes from within. Seeking it without, will be your folly.
How to be THE man every woman wants!
The secret is here.
Sometimes, when I look at couples, I wonder how that man with no sense at all got that beautiful girl. It’s puzzling how opposites can really attract. But after consulting my pals, I came to know what exactly that guy did to attract that beautiful girl. It wasn’t difficult for him at all. In fact, it is not difficult for any guy to get a girl stuck in his web.
It is not good looks or money or habits that a girl looks in a guy. It is simplicity and confidence. I mean, it is as simple as that! There’s nothing NEW you need to do. To be the man she always wanted but never found, you should:
There is nothing more gross than pretending to be someone else. She is not stupid to buy your drama. Within moments, she will come to know about your acts. Then and there, you will lose your chance forever. Be yourself, buddy. It is so uncomfortable being someone you are not. Trying to be courteous and charming and a gentleman, just don’t do it. Throw all your acts in the dustbin and come out clean. There is nothing more charming than being yourself.
Be a man
You are a man and we know about the anger and desire that surges in you when you see something. But be mature enough to control your feelings. Being honest does not mean you will sit on a girl’s head if that’s your wish. Be a man who knows what to do. And by that I mean, be mature. Shoot some wisdom in your brain because we girls just love that!
Another thing girls love to listen to is your thoughts about the future. She needs to be secure and safe with you. If you have mighty plans for the future, if you have ambitions and goals in life, a girl will automatically fall for you. But, don’t fake it. Don’t try to tell a girl, ‘One day I’m going to launch my missile.’ Come on! That’s highly impossible. Do something that is achievable, that is within your reach. And don’t just say, do it!
Don’t be a “Baby”
You must not act like a baby trapped in a man’s body. Throwing tantrums, crying, arguing, seeking attention all the time; that’s hell of a thing you must not do. These habits will make you look amateur, not a man who is ready for a relationship.
Be confident, be responsible
Don’t be a man who does not know how to behave in public, what to do when stuck, what food to order or where to take a woman on a date. Take full responsibility of yourself. Guard your decisions, actions and intentions. Girls observe very well. So if you hold someone else responsible for your failure, Bye! You are not the man she ever wanted or I’d say, you are the man she NEVER wanted!
Don’t be needy
Don’t tell a woman you can not stay without her on your first date. You barely know her and telling her this will give you a negative point. ‘I think of you everyday, I can’t live without you.’ Get a life dude! Keep your mouth shut rather than saying this. Be independent, I’m sure she will fall for you.
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Shreya had been in a relationship with Varun for almost four years. She told me that she had the perfect relationship ever! She looked forward to marry him but her dreams were shattered into pieces. She was manipulated and lied to. Though she tried to get him back, her efforts were in vain. She was so broken that she blocked her heart from emotions and herself from happiness. She never believed in love thereafter.
This is just one example of a girl falling in love with her so called “Perfect man,” getting ditched and torturing herself. Many of us have experienced love or are in one of its phases. It’s not the person who was with you gives you identity but how you handle the situation, and move on. Your action is what defines you. If you have experienced a serious heartbreak and find it difficult to move on, here are some simple practical tips that will help you get back to your life and get you your life back! These are simple ways to mend your heart !
1) Give yourself time
After you have suffered the anguish, you need to do what makes you happy. Like reading, shopping, playing, dancing, listening to music, hanging out with girlfriends, touring the world, watching live cricket etc. You have to take a break! Time to forget someone close to you is average two years. It’s not done overnight so to evaporate the pain and the memories, focus on yourself. I’m sure there a lot many things you can do to keep yourself really happy as well as busy. Take care of yourself. Hit the gym, perform yoga, take interest in sports. Physical activity increases the amount of serotonin in the brain, which acts like a natural antidepressant, improving your mood.
2) Connect with friends and family
Remember the happy days when you were little and going to the garden was such an exciting thing? If you were happy before he came, you can still be after he is gone. Get those joyful moments back into your life. Talk to your family. You will realize that nobody loves you more than them. No matter how you are or you’ve been, your family stands tall with you in every circumstance. Connect with the good old buddies and share your grievances with them but don’t drown with it. Go for a “girl’s night out” or invite your friends for a “girl’s night in.” True friends and family are the number one treasure a person can have. Don’t take their worth for granted.
3) Be happy with what you have
There are a lot of things to be thankful for. Observe those people who are below you. You are lucky enough that you have come so far, and there’s still a long way to go. A break-up isn’t the end of your life. It’s a breakthrough in the real world, a world where you have to struggle to live. Remember Darwin’s theory of natural selection? Those who are fit to survive will live and the rest will die. Engage yourself in a healthy competition and think about your future. A breakdown won’t be sufficient to heal your wounds. You need to be happy with yourself otherwise nothing else will make you happy either.
4) Realize that you deserve better
If you were the one trying to keep your relationship under control, then you have played your part well. A relationship isn’t a one-sided affair. Both partners have to participate and compromise. If he was effortless, he wasn’t your type and most definitely he wasn’t worthy of your love. You deserve a man much better and one day he will find you. Have patience and believe in yourself.
5) Block him from your memory
Unfriend him on Facebook, unfollow him on Twitter and Instagram, block him on WhatsApp, Unsubscribe him on YouTube, delete him from your contact list, erase his photos and messages, throw away his gifts, stop listening to music that reminds you of your ex boyfriend, don’t visit places that he is most likely to bump into you and where you might reminisce him and most of all, hinder him from your memories. Think of the good things that you own, the strengths you possess! Create a positive mind-set and direct all your energy towards achieving your ambitions.
6) Believe in love
True love exists. When things don’t happen right away, remember that it takes 6 months to build a Rolls Royce and 13 hours to build a Toyota. Don’t jump into another relationship at once. Take your time, know what kind of a man you want. Socialize on various networking sites and make new friends. However, be careful with every step because you don’t want to end up with a damaged soul and an injured heart. Seize chances. Accept your mistakes. Steal opportunities. Endure pain. Take risks. There’s something you can learn from everything.
(Originally posted at womennow.in
Read more articles by me at womennow)
Gently falls the bakula, written by Sudha Murthy, is a story of how a marriage loses it’s way due to critical self interests. It is a reflection of social reality.
In the sleepy town of Hubli, lived the two lovers Srikant and Srimati. They were neighbours and their families had been in a conflict since a long time. Srimati had a profound love for history whereas all what mattered to srikant was constant progress. Though the families didn’t go on well, the two were resolved to love each other for the rest of their lives. There stood a bakula tree in the centre of their veranda whose flowers bloomed and the fragrance of it lasted all year. Srikant was attracted to the bakula flower and Srimati always wore a flower on her hair. That bakula flower on Srimati’s long hair had made him fall for her.
After marriage, Srimati and Srikant moved to Mumbai, then called Bombay. Srimati was offered to study abroad but she simply denied the offer because of her dedication to her husband. She had given up her ambition, the first love of her life, history. Srikant was busy climbing the corporate ladder as fast as possible. He paid little or no attention to his wife and her concerns and would always drive away the idea of going to Hubli whenever she insisted. The pressure and rage inside srimati intensified. They had no kids and Srimati felt lonely. Her mother in law didn’t treat her the way she treated her own daughter.She had been bearing silently everything setting the example of a perfect wife. But for how long? Her talents were going futile. She had a hard working husband, money but what was lacking was affection. She wanted someone to talk to her, to listen to what she has to say and appreciate her for what she had done. Srikant treated her like a secretary, except she wasn’t being paid for it. Attending Srikant’s guests, welcoming them, doing his packing whenever he flew abroad, maintaining his schedule, all this was mocking her right into her face. And then came the time to put an end to this torture. She started picking fights, arguing, answering back at Srikant, flaring her anger, pleading and begging Srikant to take a few days off and stay home. His ignorant attitude towards his own wife had made Srimati take extreme steps. She corresponded with the Professor who had offered her to study abroad. She made all the arrangements and flew away, away from Srikant saying she isn’t sure when she shall return.The title fits the whole story perfectly. The bakula flower symbolises Srikant’s and Srimati’s love for one another. Since the flower wasn’t looked after well, it had fallen gently. Srimati going away came as a total shock to Srikant.
The story is written making use of straightforward language and simple, uncomplicated words. It pulls the emotional cords of our heart thus conveying the message. The beginning is dull where Sudha Murthy describes the school life of the two characters. It makes you put down the novel and pick another one. But if you decide to continue reading it, the events and the rising action makes you sympathize with the central character Srimati. It is an open ended story with no concrete conclusion. The narrative style is engaging and simple. I’d rate the novel 3.5 out of five because although it highlights the social trauma effectively, the plot moves slowly and the exposition drowns you into sleep. If the story had a conclusion of Srikant realizing his mistakes and getting back with Srimati, I would have been happier. It makes you doleful and emotional. If that’s what the author had intended to do, then I would say, great job!
I have never written a letter to anyone in these 25 years that I have lived nor will I in the future, I hope. But now I’m forced to write to you, my emotions and sentiments don’t let me rest in peace without you. My attachment with you in this little span of time is indescribable. I want you to come back to me, be your natural self, give me your sweetest smile! I want to plead, beg, cry, flirt , threaten; do whatever is possible to get you back!
I was ready to do anything for you. And by anything I mean ANY F***ING THING! If only you would have respected me a little! Only if you would have toyed with me at a little less. What do you think? Bending on my knees and proposing you for marriage with the whole world witnessing the drama was some joke? It might as well be, for you, but I was serious and solemn in my intentions. I had, still have, a pure heart unlike you. Was it me who had asked for your love in the first place? No Damn it! IT WAS YOU. Like nine others, I was the tenth toy with which you played and played till you got bored. And when you broke me down completely, you threw me away without giving a thought of how much this toy had amused you and added joy to your life, although for a few months.
I can write and write, write for the entire night. Isn’t that’s all what’s left for me to do? Mourn over the loss of my best treasure? I can hardly sleep or do anything else for that matter. I’m tossing and turning. A tear here, an outburst there. I had my exams, I wanted to study, to be something that I intended to, that I ought to but closed this chapter. In fact you had put a full stop to this whole book. When I used to open my books to study in hope of putting some law in my mind, your memories outlawed me. These emotions killed me without leaving a scar behind. I cry every time I hear a romantic song. I can’t hold back and relax because I love you. “Loved” you would be the precise term? I tried to be a bold and a brave man but I’m not and I can’t! These bitter downpours bites venomously at me. It gives me the kind of pain no medicine can heal. Except one: The healing power of your affection.
I know what you are doing at this time. Flirting with a guy, or hanging out with guys, stalking someone on some filthy social networking site or maybe asking some innocent man to take you to his apartment, as you did with me.
The question is, now what? Are you going to torture the innocent gentleman in your life or are you going to put some good thought in that head of yours and repent for what you have done?
I was a very well known guy in my college, mingling with buddies, bubbly bubbly, a happy go lucky kind of a person whose company most students enjoyed. What were you? A fresher who didn’t know the C of college. Nobody knew you either. You wanted the limelight, you wanted attention and you got it. I passed out of College, completed my degree and boom! You cut me out! I’m gone. Do you feel the pain that is transpiring through me? Phew! Forget about that! You need a heart to feel. Do you even know people with smashed hearts? I doubt you do.
You started arguing with me, I didn’t say a word. You started fighting with me, accusing me falsely yet I say only a few words to clarify your hazardous doubts. But then,you brought in the cliche “break up” thing. I apologized though I wasn’t wrong. I wanted to avoide any thing coming in between our miraculous relationship. You were so dear to me! God! So very lovely! I had given you the freedom to flirt to do the hell you wanted to but going away from you was the last thing I wished for. I used to wait for your messages day in and day out. I checked my cell phone like a nomad every now and then. A simple “Hi” made me blush. It was all an illusion. A matter of time which would come to an end and; it did. I don’t feel like getting out of bed, or talking or eating. You hover on my mind all the time. But I have to, you know. It was my first experience at love which was sweet at first but turned out to be ugly later.
Only I know how I face the world , plaster fake smiles and laughs, pretend to be happy when deep inside I’m dying. You took away a part of me with you.
I hope I’ll get over it soon. They say, time heals deepest pains. I’ll join a good firm within some days, work my ass off. And be busy as much as I can. No time for such bullshit.
I’ll miss you, no doubt in that. The time that we have spent, ofcourse. All about it. I’m happy that it happened. Just remember “what goes around, comes back around” All the people out there are not fools like the ten of us with whom you were. An eleventh one will teach you what love is. No, no! Not love! He will teach you what is betrayal!!
Act like a human, my dear! There’s still time. 🙂
(Inspired by a true story.)
I don’t know if you know what I plan to say. All I know is I know what I say and what I say is unknown to you. Today is fourth of July. Third was an important day. It was my birthday. Although your sharp mind knows it all, your anonymity said all that you couldn’t. It had hurt this soul in a way nothing can. That’s unfair of you, that’s filthy.
Thank you Asil for the challenge. It was difficult framing sentences without an E. I hope I have succeeded in writing the paragraph.
What do you do in the Allergic To “E” Challenge?
Write a whole paragraph ( a paragraph sounds easy right?) without any word containing the letter “e” (still easy for ya?)By reading this you are already signed up.Challenge at least five bloggers to do the challenge. They must do it within 24 hours or it is considered as failure.If you fail or pass, suffer in the Hall of NoobsIf you win, wallow in the Hall of WeYou will receive a pingback to your post to know if you have passed or failed.To make it easy for me to keep track of your progress, link it back to this post.
I nominate all those who read this post.
So many years have passed; almost seven. Seven years and I’m still counting. Isn’t it the best thing I can do? To count.
I can sense her presence around me but my senses betray me all the time. I’m sure she still think about me and she is with me but will she be with me after this? I do not know and I do not intend to know either. I clearly remember her promising me the future, assuring me she will be with me till the end. What if tomorrow is my end? Will she know about my death? And if she does, will she know the cause of it? I’m being paranoid or maybe I’m over reacting. These thoughts keep prying my mind, frightening my lonely fragile heart that I have surrendered to her as long as I remember.
The first time I saw her was in my school playground with pigtails wagging on her head. To be honest, she never looked attractive in those. Who did, anyway? The time when I had fallen for her when we were incidentally at the same party. The moment I laid my eyes on her was the moment she became my reason to live. That red piece of cloth just above her knees and her brown hair which were in pigtails were now let loose. How could I forget? She looked stunning. I lured her into my friendship and then into my love.
Two thousand five hundred and forty one days have passed. I’m sitting on this unfortunate bench in this peaceful park where the strings attached between two souls were broken. She walked away from me and never turned back. Birds hummed along with the trees and the wind caressed my hair as if trying to show me it’s support.
I had promised her I would be waiting for her however long she took. I did. I visited this place every weekend the way we used to when she was mine. She still is, I hope. I knew it was my mistake but how could someone humane like her take so long to forgive me? Wasn’t I her best asset? I ‘ve tried to contact her ever since, never losing hope for once, but it was to no avail. If she was so stubborn in holding on to her ignorance, then so was I. I had become a recluse keeping myself away from the rest of the world always wishing for a day when she will realize my importance and come back running to me.
Today is not an unusual day yet I feel gauche, something is stirring inside me. The silence looks like the one that before a storm. I see a chubby boy around the age of three playing at a farway distance engaged in his little ball without a care of what’s happening around. He reminds me of someone. Seeing him makes me feel of my own children. It makes me feel happy. He kicks his ball and it lands on my bench. I pick it up and examine it. He comes to me asking me to return his toy. I hand it over to him inquiring, “what’s your name child?” He snatches the ball from me and runs away muttering something in shallow breaths. From what I depicher, it sounds, “Mama said don’t talk to strangers..” He goes to a woman and holds her tightly in an embrace. The lady turns around. I stare in disbelief! The same brown hair. The same arcadian eyes. The same rosy complexion. The same garden. But with a different man. I saw her. She saw me. Our eyes met. Her eyes didn’t reveal the slightest hint of recognition. How could she? Was I so changed after she left? The answers lie within herself. Gathering my thoughts I stood and walked away. The child was right,
“I am a stranger in a strange land.”
Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.
The brazilian writer Paulo Coelho is an author of more than 25 books. His words have a lasting impact on me and his books are a great source of inspiration that gives inner harmony and peace. The Alchemist is still my favourite!