If happiness is what you seek, you shall never find it . For happiness comes from within. Seeking it without, will be your folly.
Shreya had been in a relationship with Varun for almost four years. She told me that she had the perfect relationship ever! She looked forward to marry him but her dreams were shattered into pieces. She was manipulated and lied to. Though she tried to get him back, her efforts were in vain. She was so broken that she blocked her heart from emotions and herself from happiness. She never believed in love thereafter.
This is just one example of a girl falling in love with her so called “Perfect man,” getting ditched and torturing herself. Many of us have experienced love or are in one of its phases. It’s not the person who was with you gives you identity but how you handle the situation, and move on. Your action is what defines you. If you have experienced a serious heartbreak and find it difficult to move on, here are some simple practical tips that will help you get back to your life and get you your life back! These are simple ways to mend your heart !
1) Give yourself time
After you have suffered the anguish, you need to do what makes you happy. Like reading, shopping, playing, dancing, listening to music, hanging out with girlfriends, touring the world, watching live cricket etc. You have to take a break! Time to forget someone close to you is average two years. It’s not done overnight so to evaporate the pain and the memories, focus on yourself. I’m sure there a lot many things you can do to keep yourself really happy as well as busy. Take care of yourself. Hit the gym, perform yoga, take interest in sports. Physical activity increases the amount of serotonin in the brain, which acts like a natural antidepressant, improving your mood.
2) Connect with friends and family
Remember the happy days when you were little and going to the garden was such an exciting thing? If you were happy before he came, you can still be after he is gone. Get those joyful moments back into your life. Talk to your family. You will realize that nobody loves you more than them. No matter how you are or you’ve been, your family stands tall with you in every circumstance. Connect with the good old buddies and share your grievances with them but don’t drown with it. Go for a “girl’s night out” or invite your friends for a “girl’s night in.” True friends and family are the number one treasure a person can have. Don’t take their worth for granted.
3) Be happy with what you have
There are a lot of things to be thankful for. Observe those people who are below you. You are lucky enough that you have come so far, and there’s still a long way to go. A break-up isn’t the end of your life. It’s a breakthrough in the real world, a world where you have to struggle to live. Remember Darwin’s theory of natural selection? Those who are fit to survive will live and the rest will die. Engage yourself in a healthy competition and think about your future. A breakdown won’t be sufficient to heal your wounds. You need to be happy with yourself otherwise nothing else will make you happy either.
4) Realize that you deserve better
If you were the one trying to keep your relationship under control, then you have played your part well. A relationship isn’t a one-sided affair. Both partners have to participate and compromise. If he was effortless, he wasn’t your type and most definitely he wasn’t worthy of your love. You deserve a man much better and one day he will find you. Have patience and believe in yourself.
5) Block him from your memory
Unfriend him on Facebook, unfollow him on Twitter and Instagram, block him on WhatsApp, Unsubscribe him on YouTube, delete him from your contact list, erase his photos and messages, throw away his gifts, stop listening to music that reminds you of your ex boyfriend, don’t visit places that he is most likely to bump into you and where you might reminisce him and most of all, hinder him from your memories. Think of the good things that you own, the strengths you possess! Create a positive mind-set and direct all your energy towards achieving your ambitions.
6) Believe in love
True love exists. When things don’t happen right away, remember that it takes 6 months to build a Rolls Royce and 13 hours to build a Toyota. Don’t jump into another relationship at once. Take your time, know what kind of a man you want. Socialize on various networking sites and make new friends. However, be careful with every step because you don’t want to end up with a damaged soul and an injured heart. Seize chances. Accept your mistakes. Steal opportunities. Endure pain. Take risks. There’s something you can learn from everything.
(Originally posted at womennow.in
Read more articles by me at womennow)
She was beaten up like an animal and stuck with filthy words, words that had the ability to humiliate you to death. Her parents were cruel to her but it didn’t matter as long as they kept the orphan with them. They blamed her for every bad thing happening to them, whether it was his dad losing a major deal or a glass slipping away from her mother’s hand. They believed that fate had thrown them into a state of inferno after they had adopted her.
She gulped down morsels of food in silence. Tears of hatred and pain were brimming in her eyes yet she didn’t let them flow. Crying was a symptom of the weak and she was strong. Strong enough to stand for herself and find a shelter in this kind world. But she couldn’t. Where would she go? Her friends would want to get rid of her within a few weeks. The orphanage won’t take her because she had passed the age limit of 15. The police would hand her back to her dad. She lived with a bunch of heartless fools but it was them; out of all the people, who adopted her.
Shaking off the negative thoughts, she stepped out of her house. A place where everything seemed positive; a place where her dreams belonged and her parents didn’t.
Maybe I was born this way. Maybe my parents failed to teach me moral behaviour. Maybe they did but I was reluctant to learn.
I’m bad because I think of myself. I think of the way I’ll dress up today, what hairstyle I’ll wear, which bracelet will match my clothes, food that I’ll eat and food that I’ll avoid, friends I will hang around with, movies that I will watch, the cosmetics that I’ll use to help my skin glow and how I’ll look beautiful.
I do not care of my millions of brothers who die every day due to the stormy weather because they don’t have warm clothes to shield themselves. I do not care of crore others who spend their eternity in every corner of every street in hope of getting a handful of rice, to whom a handful of rice is equal to the food of a five star restaurant. I do not care of thousands of other anaemic girls who haven’t shampooed their hair or scrubbed their bodies since months. Movies? They might not have the slightest idea of what it is. I do not care of hundreds of other poor old men, around whom a clan of mosquitoes linger every time everywhere. I ignore the dreams of lacks of others which are similar to mine and I turn a blind eye to the fact that they are also humans. Heavens above! I do not even ask if my parents have had their meal tonight, if they are happy, if anything is bothering them. I’m a callous wimp. I don’t think of nothing but myself.
When a man lands into a murky puddle, I hoot with laughter. I pick apart my food and if it’s spicy, I cast it away. I walk away from people and things that give out offensive stench. If my flipcover fetches a scratch, I replace it quickly. If I get pimples on my face, I panic and visit the dermatologist. I’m bad because I couldn’t care less.
But wait! I’m not the onliest. You too, are identical to me. You behave the way I do. We are drops of the same pond, crops of the same field. So you are also bad and selfish and careless. Aren’t you?
Hey there! I’m finally awake after sleeping for ten hours. I have been taking so much stress lately which is resulting in diminishing health and thinning hair. Home, friends, studies, nothing seems right!! I have had the worst nightmare ever. I feel feverish and low. And then, I found out this which goes with my mood perfectly. I know I will be okay within a few hours but THIS is how I feel now.
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in everyday
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s not in the mind and the heart
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one’s surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
It’s all beyond my attitude
And you will not in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day.
Have a good day my dear readers!
I have never written a letter to anyone in these 25 years that I have lived nor will I in the future, I hope. But now I’m forced to write to you, my emotions and sentiments don’t let me rest in peace without you. My attachment with you in this little span of time is indescribable. I want you to come back to me, be your natural self, give me your sweetest smile! I want to plead, beg, cry, flirt , threaten; do whatever is possible to get you back!
I was ready to do anything for you. And by anything I mean ANY F***ING THING! If only you would have respected me a little! Only if you would have toyed with me at a little less. What do you think? Bending on my knees and proposing you for marriage with the whole world witnessing the drama was some joke? It might as well be, for you, but I was serious and solemn in my intentions. I had, still have, a pure heart unlike you. Was it me who had asked for your love in the first place? No Damn it! IT WAS YOU. Like nine others, I was the tenth toy with which you played and played till you got bored. And when you broke me down completely, you threw me away without giving a thought of how much this toy had amused you and added joy to your life, although for a few months.
I can write and write, write for the entire night. Isn’t that’s all what’s left for me to do? Mourn over the loss of my best treasure? I can hardly sleep or do anything else for that matter. I’m tossing and turning. A tear here, an outburst there. I had my exams, I wanted to study, to be something that I intended to, that I ought to but closed this chapter. In fact you had put a full stop to this whole book. When I used to open my books to study in hope of putting some law in my mind, your memories outlawed me. These emotions killed me without leaving a scar behind. I cry every time I hear a romantic song. I can’t hold back and relax because I love you. “Loved” you would be the precise term? I tried to be a bold and a brave man but I’m not and I can’t! These bitter downpours bites venomously at me. It gives me the kind of pain no medicine can heal. Except one: The healing power of your affection.
I know what you are doing at this time. Flirting with a guy, or hanging out with guys, stalking someone on some filthy social networking site or maybe asking some innocent man to take you to his apartment, as you did with me.
The question is, now what? Are you going to torture the innocent gentleman in your life or are you going to put some good thought in that head of yours and repent for what you have done?
I was a very well known guy in my college, mingling with buddies, bubbly bubbly, a happy go lucky kind of a person whose company most students enjoyed. What were you? A fresher who didn’t know the C of college. Nobody knew you either. You wanted the limelight, you wanted attention and you got it. I passed out of College, completed my degree and boom! You cut me out! I’m gone. Do you feel the pain that is transpiring through me? Phew! Forget about that! You need a heart to feel. Do you even know people with smashed hearts? I doubt you do.
You started arguing with me, I didn’t say a word. You started fighting with me, accusing me falsely yet I say only a few words to clarify your hazardous doubts. But then,you brought in the cliche “break up” thing. I apologized though I wasn’t wrong. I wanted to avoide any thing coming in between our miraculous relationship. You were so dear to me! God! So very lovely! I had given you the freedom to flirt to do the hell you wanted to but going away from you was the last thing I wished for. I used to wait for your messages day in and day out. I checked my cell phone like a nomad every now and then. A simple “Hi” made me blush. It was all an illusion. A matter of time which would come to an end and; it did. I don’t feel like getting out of bed, or talking or eating. You hover on my mind all the time. But I have to, you know. It was my first experience at love which was sweet at first but turned out to be ugly later.
Only I know how I face the world , plaster fake smiles and laughs, pretend to be happy when deep inside I’m dying. You took away a part of me with you.
I hope I’ll get over it soon. They say, time heals deepest pains. I’ll join a good firm within some days, work my ass off. And be busy as much as I can. No time for such bullshit.
I’ll miss you, no doubt in that. The time that we have spent, ofcourse. All about it. I’m happy that it happened. Just remember “what goes around, comes back around” All the people out there are not fools like the ten of us with whom you were. An eleventh one will teach you what love is. No, no! Not love! He will teach you what is betrayal!!
Act like a human, my dear! There’s still time. 🙂
(Inspired by a true story.)
Sun rays gently tap the serene sky as dawn descends. I haven’t slept for one minute the previous night yet I’m brimming with vigour. I think and over think the things I have done, the people I have hurt, unintentionally, or perhaps with bold intentions. I play the events of my life, from childhood to youth, in my mind, over and over again. I want another chance. For everything that I have done is wrong. Nothing feels right, nothing is right either.
I knew what I did was wrong but I did it out of habit. Out of necessity, maybe? Will all those pierced souls forgive me? Not in this world. I have hurt my enemies, my friends, my parents, my peers. Not one person connected to me have been left unhurt. And all along I have hurt myself.
I want to repent for what I have done. Asking for forgiveness is a characteristic of the weak. I am not weak. I have the courage to trample a lion. This is how I am. This is how I have lived. This is me. I ask myself, is there any reason why I should continue when all the humble gentlemen out there wants to vanish me, not giving me another chance to mend my mistakes? Those men with masked gentleness. At least that’s where my plus point lies. I don’t fake around. Playing the role of someone who I’m not. I’m bad. I show it and people know it. No denying it. No backstabbing.
I cry. Fresh tears run down my tear stained face. What do I do? Where do I go? Why am I doing this? I don’t want to face the world. I want to change. If I try to be nice, those nice people will believe this is my another plot to a greater ploy. I’m tired of this lifestyle. I go to the restaurant, to the club, to the garden, to the movies, to the pub, I see a group of people sticking together. There’s this group and that group with none giving me much of a glance.
My brother’s death has given me a blow I have never had before. It has changed me ever since. I was never this evil minded depressed person. A car had hit him and disappeared in the woolly weather. Spectacles gathered around the frozen body that had been lying there for 10 minutes. They oohed and aahed but no decent man considered it wise to call the police or an ambulence. Moreover nobody had seen the car come and to ask if they have noted down the car’s number would be a funny thing to say. If only they would have done something……
A life walked away in silence.
I hate everything and everyone. This being the reason why. I want to have my part of revenge. I want to teach this ugly world a lesson yet I want to show them what humanity really is. I want to take all their lives yet I want to be a better person. But who cares?
I’m toying with my sleeping pills. An overdose would kill me. Yes, I’m aware of that. To hell with it! I will consume all of them. I don’t wanna live in this mysterious world. Let my demise bring smiles on faces. Let darkness creep over with this rising sun. Let death rejoice over its victory.
(Note: this is a work of fiction. Theme and plot adheres to the writers imagination.)
Why create opportunities when patience can do miracles?
How can I be positive when negativity has taken powerful roots, it’s difficult to uproot them?
If I’m ruined I’m ruined, where is the chance I’m getting in disguise?
When everything is going to perish one day,why strive hard and create a name in the world? The world is going to forget and dissolve too.
Why not enjoy the moment doing the craziest thing we like? Let’s be a wayfarer! Tomorrow an earthquake might swallow us all! Who has seen tomorrow?
If everything is meant to be then why do something? Surely if it will happen; it will, why not sit back and relax?
Let’s bend rules for our happy living! Let’s search for a deeper meaning in life than pretending we are happy owing luxuries.
Without a doubt, I cannot answer these gargantuan questions,can you?
So many years have passed; almost seven. Seven years and I’m still counting. Isn’t it the best thing I can do? To count.
I can sense her presence around me but my senses betray me all the time. I’m sure she still think about me and she is with me but will she be with me after this? I do not know and I do not intend to know either. I clearly remember her promising me the future, assuring me she will be with me till the end. What if tomorrow is my end? Will she know about my death? And if she does, will she know the cause of it? I’m being paranoid or maybe I’m over reacting. These thoughts keep prying my mind, frightening my lonely fragile heart that I have surrendered to her as long as I remember.
The first time I saw her was in my school playground with pigtails wagging on her head. To be honest, she never looked attractive in those. Who did, anyway? The time when I had fallen for her when we were incidentally at the same party. The moment I laid my eyes on her was the moment she became my reason to live. That red piece of cloth just above her knees and her brown hair which were in pigtails were now let loose. How could I forget? She looked stunning. I lured her into my friendship and then into my love.
Two thousand five hundred and forty one days have passed. I’m sitting on this unfortunate bench in this peaceful park where the strings attached between two souls were broken. She walked away from me and never turned back. Birds hummed along with the trees and the wind caressed my hair as if trying to show me it’s support.
I had promised her I would be waiting for her however long she took. I did. I visited this place every weekend the way we used to when she was mine. She still is, I hope. I knew it was my mistake but how could someone humane like her take so long to forgive me? Wasn’t I her best asset? I ‘ve tried to contact her ever since, never losing hope for once, but it was to no avail. If she was so stubborn in holding on to her ignorance, then so was I. I had become a recluse keeping myself away from the rest of the world always wishing for a day when she will realize my importance and come back running to me.
Today is not an unusual day yet I feel gauche, something is stirring inside me. The silence looks like the one that before a storm. I see a chubby boy around the age of three playing at a farway distance engaged in his little ball without a care of what’s happening around. He reminds me of someone. Seeing him makes me feel of my own children. It makes me feel happy. He kicks his ball and it lands on my bench. I pick it up and examine it. He comes to me asking me to return his toy. I hand it over to him inquiring, “what’s your name child?” He snatches the ball from me and runs away muttering something in shallow breaths. From what I depicher, it sounds, “Mama said don’t talk to strangers..” He goes to a woman and holds her tightly in an embrace. The lady turns around. I stare in disbelief! The same brown hair. The same arcadian eyes. The same rosy complexion. The same garden. But with a different man. I saw her. She saw me. Our eyes met. Her eyes didn’t reveal the slightest hint of recognition. How could she? Was I so changed after she left? The answers lie within herself. Gathering my thoughts I stood and walked away. The child was right,
“I am a stranger in a strange land.”
Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam started his career as a newspaper vendor ending up becoming the first citizen of India and also it’s eleventh President. His life full of struggle and hard work never makes me stray the path of my dreams. He makes me believe everything is possible if worked for it diligently. An awesome “missile man” with awesome ideas!